Saturday, January 21, 2006

After Wasting Millions of Dollars, FEMA Launches A Kiddie Web Page

By Elaine Meinel Supkis

After a year of hard work and millions of dollars, FEMA comes up with a promo for kids so they know what to do when a hurricane or terrorist attack happens. This monumental waste of money is also on the surface, insane. A hermit crab as mascot? How about an even more appropriate one like Square Pants Sponge Brownie?

From CNN:
After more than a year of delays, the Department of Homeland Security says it plans to launch a preparedness program next month aimed at alerting and preparing children for terror attacks and natural disasters.
FEMA, an agency within the DHS, already has a program preparing children for disasters. "FEMA for Kids" ( includes a pudgy and nervous-looking airplane leaking a trail of smoke, a hermit crab mascot named "Herman," and a song with a rap beat:

"Disaster . . . it can happen anywhere,

"But we've got a few tips, so you can be prepared,

"For floods, tornadoes, or even a 'quake,

"You've got to be ready -- so your heart don't break."
Stop! Stop! You're killing me! Osama is laughing to death! The hurricanes are hurrying away! America is prepared! I suppose they could film kids singing this in front of the Super Dome, too!

Who are the psychotics designing all this? One character is a smoking airplane? What???? Is the plane's name "Atta boy"? Herman the hermit crab, geeze, someone is channelling some old 1960's pop singers, aren't they? "I'm 'Enry the Eigth, I am"?

They are having a contest to pick a new mascot. I nominate Squarepants Sponge Brownie. He sponges off the public till, he is clueless and lives in flood waters so he doesn't mind it if everyone is drowning, he would get along with 'Enry, the Hermit Crab and the plane dude can just go crash on someone else's couch.

Like, Dr. Freud's.
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No Real Homeland Security
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